Nov 1, 2011

P3 Project: September 20th, 2011 - The Best Laid Plans

(Flashback: This is a older post that I'm catching up on. There are thoughts here that have since been straightened out and problems resolved. However, read on)

As I stood on the bridge, looking out over the water below me, my thoughts were unusually clear, unlike the waters of the Ohio River that lie in wait beneath me, longing to greet me in it's cold embrace and carry me off into the bosom of eternity. And echoing through my crystal clear mind, a familiar though rang out from an oft-quoted movie:

Obviously I had miscalculated some things...

P3 Project: October 30th, 2011 - Days of Future Present

As days go by, it becomes easier and easier to be reminded that time waits for no one, no matter who you are. For no man, woman or child, do the sands of time slow but this weekend reminded me that no matter what happens, some people cannot forget that the passage of time is valuable for the development of anything, be it a relationship, a career, or a family. The foundations of family do not begin with an accident, it begins with love, it begins with marriage and like any other great journey, it begins with a plan. Here's mine...

Oct 27, 2011

P3 Project: September 18th, 2011 - Taking the Plunge

Love isn't about  grand declarations of love in the center of Times Square on New Year's Eve. Love is about the quiet resolve that gets you through the day. Love isn't about running across fields of wildflowers into your lover's arms. Love is running across an airport after a week apart and hoping that they won't laugh too hard if you fall on your face. Love isn't about despising coming home and needing a beer before you even start to drive to the house. Love is knowing that your day isn't complete until you see that special someone. Love isn't about soaring on the wings of dreams. Love is realizing that some days, all you can do is jump.

And so, we jump. And we pray to God that we can fly.

Oct 26, 2011

P3 Project: October 26th, 2011 - Losing Track

My, my, my... where does the time go?

It seems like only yesterday that I started this project with no car, from my father's spare room upstairs and for the life of me, I couldn't seem to remember what day was what when I wrote these things. It was a feat in and of itself to just be able to put the Day X of 1400 before whatever the post subject was.

How things can change in such a short time.

I look at the progress that I've made in the last year (wow, has it almost been that long since my life turned upside-down?) and it amazes me. I'm writing this post in my apartment, after having a great night out with my beautiful girlfriend, Elli and all I can think about it how tomorrow is another busy, crazy day full of work, and family, friends and just living the kind of life that was unimaginable this time last year. Don't get me wrong, it's not the company around me that's made my life better, it's the changes that I've made as a person and the decisions that I've made that have made this day possible.

I won't lie to you, the journey that I've been on to get this far has not been an easy one. And under no circumstances do I believe that I'm better than anyone because of the progress that I've made. But I have to admit, there is one person who I am now better than.

The man who started this project many moons ago.

With that, there will be some changes in the near future. Please, pay attention as there will be a test afterwards...

Sep 20, 2011

P3 Project: Day 186 of 1400 - Family Ties

This post is one of the few that will be dedicated to anyone. In this instance, this post is dedicated to my family who through thick and thin, with all of the things that happen, continue to show me that the ties that bind aren't always physical. Sometimes, they are simply digital.

-Kevin M. Williams

Sep 15, 2011

P3 Project: Day 180 of 1400 - Sail

"Maybe I should cry for help. | Maybe I should kill myself | Blame it on my A.D.D, baby. | Maybe I'm a different breed | Maybe I'm not listening | So blame it on my A.D.D, baby..."

I wake up in the morning with my brain in a haze, like I was thinking in mud. After laying there for a few moments, my "higher functions" kick on. First, priorities, then personality. Next thing to turn on is logic, then finally reason. I roll over and look at the time. I have two hours to get from where I am to where I need to be. "That's an eternity..." I tell myself and hit the snooze button on my alarm.

"Obviously, I had miscalculated some things..."

Sep 13, 2011

P3 Project: Day 177 of 1400 - Birthday Wishes

So, this weekend served to prove that a group of complete strangers can begin to forge the bonds of friendship and that sometimes, your friends are the only family you have. Or rather, better family than the one you get dealt. I spent this weekend doing absolutely nothing that was for me. Clothing shopping with Seth and Sarah, birthday party for Nathaniel, church to watch Tiffany perform, and all of these activities were done happily because these people are my family. They have their moments, not unlike a real family but we were all happy to spend time together.

If only I wasn't distracted with the upcoming week, I may have even enjoyed the festivities more. But as I celebrated my nephew's seventh birthday, I couldn't help but think about my own birthday wishes that were going to be fulfilled in the next week. And it still scares the hell out of me.

Sep 6, 2011

P3 Project: Day 172 of 1400 - Playing Catch-Up

It's very rare that we as people get the time to sit back and enjoy the little things. I find myself doing that more and more as time goes on. Take this weekend, for example. It was Labor Day weekend which meant an extra day doing... whatever it is that I do with an extra day on my weekend. As there isn't a lot to do in my apartment (which I still haven't blogged about, I know) I figured that I'd sit back and enjoy some time with the family.

My other family, y'know the one with the video game in the name? Well, this weekend went a little different than usual.

Come inside, it's starting to get cold. I'll tell you all about it...

Aug 16, 2011

P3 Project: From the Ashes of Procrastination

Okay, so it's been over a month since I've posted here and since that time, a lot (and I mean a LOT) of things have happened. Why then haven't I been writing new blueprints and blog posts? It's elementary, my dear readers:

I'm a raging procrastinator. It comes with the territory. However, I will be trying desperately to catch up in the following weeks. Some of the subjects that will be going up are (and in no particular order):

My Detroit Homecoming with Elli
Apartment Hunting, Tracking and Capturing and the insanity that happens here
The COD Family times
War of the Roses
Gen Con and the work related
Great Wolf Lodge and Kings Island
Birthday Parties
Wedding Day Blues (and Reds)
Doctor visits and ADHD Screening

I know that it seems like quite a lot and there are bound to be things that I forgot but such is life with my brain. However, if you stay tuned, I promise...

Business is about to pick up...

Jul 12, 2011

P3 Project: Day 95 of 1400 - Temperature Control 3: Stay Frosty

[I know it's been a while since I've posted and I'll be trying to get caught up. The last two weeks have been a little on the crazy side and as I type this, I'm doing it with a busted right hand that will be discussed in a later post]

So today was one of those days that tested the limits of my patience. I don't even remember what pissed me off but I know that when I left work today, the only thing on my mind was cooling off. There are a couple of different ways to do that and despite not exactly knowing what I would do to cool off, I decided to head up to Frankfort to hang out with Keffer and maybe get some very desperate stress relief before the beginning on a very busy and slightly stressful two week period that was looming before my face. I arrived at the Keffer's and immediately walked to the backyard to meet The in the back yard. As I turned the corner, I was greeted by what appeared to be a large cannon pointing directly at me and Keffer on the other side of it, grinning...

And I thought my day was bad before...

Jun 21, 2011

P3 Project: Day 93 of 1400 - The Life Aquatic

Sometimes, it's the little things. The smallest of things that bring joy and happiness to us as humans. Some days, it's a smile, or a glance across the room. Others, it's the feeling of a familiar pair of sweat pants and the knowledge that everything for the day is done. Sometimes it's the feeling of cool water on warm skin on a hot day.Sometimes, it's seeing your girlfriend in a bathing suit for the first time.But all in all, it's the thought of being able to hang out with your friends and relax, swimming on a really hot summer day with not a care in the world.

What more could a guys ask for? Apparently, about 363 items from Target as well.

Don't ask.

P3 Project: Day 92 of 1400 - Dish Best Served Cold

There are some dishes that are better served cold. Gazpacho, a Spanish tomato based soup is one. As is some sushi dishes. However the most famous dish that is best served cold is revenge.

I beg to differ.

I think that the dish best served cold is satisfaction. Satisfaction that you've tried everything that you could to hurt me and now you simply don't matter to me anymore. Because as good as revenge is cold...

... the feeling that you're alone is a far colder feeling.

P3 Project: Day 88 of 1400 - The Laws of Attraction

My friend nodded his head to some unheard beat and then turned to me. "That seemed kind of simple, when you put it that way." I took another sip of my beer and looked around the room. "It's really simple," I said as we sat in the dimly lit bar. "It's the Laws of Attraction"

As I sat there, I had to ask myself: Is it really that simple? Is attraction something that can be so easily explained? In truth, the answer is no. There are so many different types of people that it is almost impossible to have one set of rules to attract another person.

The operative word: almost impossible.

P3 Project: Day 89 of 1400 - Do you really know?

"You spend all this time complaining about other people and how it's their fault you're angry or that better people than they are able to forgive the terrible things you do to them, but how about you just stop doing terrible things to good people. That's why they hold grudges against you, you even admit yourself you aren't that good of a person."

As I read that, I had to stop and think. Maybe she was right? Maybe I was spending too much time doing nefarious things to good people. Maybe I really was the villain that I kept telling everyone I was. And then it dawned on me.

I didn't even know where I knew this woman from... how could she even begin to know who I was?

This entire experience brought something to light that I think needs to be discussed. The purpose of certain things that are said are not so much to illuminate the obvious but the inspire thought and discussion. Some people give advice just to assist others in knowing exactly what needs to be done to stay on the right path.

However there are others who give advice just to make a person feel guilty about the things that they say and do. They are only out to make you feel bad, and some times, it's not even a matter of something that you did, but rather something that was done to them that makes them feel that they can judge the actions of others because if one person did it to them, then everyone who does something similar has to be the same way. There are even those rare occasions that the preaching (read: tongue lashing) that you've received is the outcome of something that they wished that they could say to someone else in their past that causes them to instead, as a part of their healing process to "tell you what's you're doing wrong."

But nothing is better than having an unlikely friend come to your aid in your moment of crisis.

As I was being berated for a moment of irritation, another friend of mine decided to chime in, informing the "preacher" that not only was she wrong about her opinion of me, that she couldn't really know who was to make such an assumption. He then spent a large chunk of time responding to her attacks with unerring accuracy and deftly disarming her verbal barbs.

Moral of the story I guess is simply this: Do you know who you're audience is when you voice your opinion?

Jun 15, 2011

P3 Project: Day 86 of 1400 - Into the Wild, Green, and Yonder

There I was, standing at the beginning of a rope bridge. At the end was nothing but a tree, a wooden platform, a heavy duty metal cable, gravity and air. I looked behind me to see Elsa standing there, smiling as I walked out onto the shaky, swaying bridge. I got to the end, and was tethered to a cable and the person before was sent screaming off into space. Then another, then another. Finally, it was my turn,

I took a deep breath and the only thing that I could think of at that moment was:

I wonder if I should have taken my glasses off and left them in the car. And then I jumped.

Jun 14, 2011

P3 Project: Day 85 of 1400 - A Walk in the Park

As I stood there, I got the same vertigo feeling that I always seem to get on roller coasters.The slight dizziness as I looked down at the ground, so far below me. The people behind me laughing as I walked to the edge and, with a deep breath I walked to the edge of the shaky canopy and I just couldn't do it. I was so tired from the march and my eyes were still sensitive to the sun burning over head. So, as I decided on what to do, or if I could even go any further, a man with a thick beard and missing teeth grabbed me and threw me over the edge...

Wait, maybe I should go back a little and explain how I ended up in the damn tree in the first place.

Jun 12, 2011

P3 Project: Day 83 of 1400 - Satisfaction Guaranteed

So, there are few things more satisfying than progress. Not only in your own life, but the lives of those around you as well. It's good to see your friends progress and move closer towards a better standard of living, be it through school, work, or in personal relationships. However, there's nothing more satisfying than watch someone you care about finally beat something that's been bothering them. Now, you can be told all day about something but there's something special to be said for seeing it. Because it's true what they say:

Seeing really is believing.

Jun 6, 2011

P3 Project: Day 80 of 1400 - Graduation and Enrollment

It's not often that you can be there for the start of something and for the end of it twelve years later and see what your contributions have done to make it end the way that it did. However, one of those things, I had the pleasure of being a part of, mostly. My nephew graduated from Kindergarten this weekend, marking the beginning of his educational journey. I remember how I felt when I got out, excited and just relieved that it was over and even with all of that, I find it ironic that while he is starting his educational journey, I find myself desperately trying to get back in.

Who's really following in who's footsteps this time?

P3 Project: Day 80 of 1400 - The Hard Road Precedent

It's not often that I find myself unable to sleep lately. It's a welcome change from the way things used to be for me. Too long I sat awake at night, unable to find a solution to a problem and in turn, being kept awake by it. However, recently, this problem has come back. After a month of sleeping like a baby, I now find myself staring at the ceiling in the middle of the night, dizzy from the speed at which thoughts are running through my head. Something's gotta give, and I'm not sure if it's supposed to be me or the other side. But I guess it's to be expected. As quoted by Tiffany Keffer:

"If it's easy, it's not worth having." But is it too much to ask for the ability to travel the easy road for once?

Jun 1, 2011

P3 Project: Audience Participation

So this is a special post going out to all of my friends that attend the various Cons related to gaming (board, tabletop, card, video, etc.) that are interested in joining that community. I have been waiting far too long to make any serious headway on this particular project but it's time that I start working on getting that part of my life started. However, this I can't do without your help so here's what I'll need:

P3 Project: Day 75 of 1400 - Ghosts

It's been a while since I've been able to post anything regarding any forward momentum in the P3 Project. I've filled the pages of this blog with random thoughts and such, trying to keep myself in the habit of posting things as they happen but today, I am happy to report some real progress. However, as is often the case in life, the thrill of victory comes with the possibility of a massive amount of pain but the rewards far outweigh the risks and as anyone who knows me will attest: I'm never been one to miss an opportunity due to a little pain.

However, it seems that the ghosts of the past never leave the places where they haunt the most.

May 30, 2011

P3 Project: Day 73 of 1400 - I Now Pronounce You

I had a dream last night. I was going to write this then but I was so tired, I decided to put it off until today. However, it stuck in my mind enough that I dreamt about it. I was standing inside a large church, at the end of a long white carpet. Although I could see that there were people standing around me, and I could hear the buzz of the crowd, they seemed distant, almost as if they weren't even there. I stood alone, and although I didn't fully grasp what was happening, I was nervous. Everything seemed to vibrant, the colors of the clothing that the people around me wore, although the faces weren't clear. I couldn't figure out why I was nervous and that's when the double doors at the end of the long, pristine white carpet opened and out came the most beautiful thing that I had ever seen. I stood in awe as my girlfriend walked down the carpet in a breathtaking dress, on the arm of her father, and as she walked into the room, it fell silent. And for the briefest of moments, there were only two people standing there, she and I...

Then I woke up, dazed and confused. Yet as I looked up at the time, I could tell, even in the dark that I was still wearing the same silly grin that I wore in the dream.

P3 Project: Day 72 of 1400 - The Dead Shall Walk The Earth

I walked through the trees, my side arm at the ready and my machete in front of me. I had heard that they were here, but like most stupid survivors, I had to see it for myself. I walked forward, making sure to watch behind me as I knew that this could very well be a trap but I had to know. As I cleared the tree line, I saw her...

Standing in a clearing in the field was a zombie. Barefoot and wearing bloodstained cut-off shorts, she look as ferocious as I had heard. I didn't let my guard down as it had long since been told that they could be fast, scary fast but I was almost sure that she hadn't heard me. I took another timid step forward and that's when it gave me away... the damned dog-tags made a soft clinking sound as I crested the hill and I froze, hoping that she hadn't seen me when out of the trees next to me, another one burst out.

I leveled my sidearm and fired, catching the zombie in the chest but before I could take a breath, they were all around me. I swung my machete as fast as i could but there were too many of them.

Finally, the zombie that I had been tracking placed both hands on my shoulders and shouted out, "Gotcha!"

I handed over my bracelet, sullenly, not wanting to join the horde this way, but the experience proved two age old adages:

Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought him back. And the other...

It's far better to give than to receive. Oh well, there's always the next another round...

May 27, 2011

P3 Project: Day 69 of 1400 - The Winds of Change

"We interrupt your regularly scheduled broadcasting to bring you this weather announcement. A strong batch of storms is heading for the Louisville and surrounding areas. Be prepared to take shelter in the lowest areas of your home in case of a sudden tornado touchdown or violent winds."

This moment changed a simple night into a very complicated one in a matter of minutes but not for any bad reasons. In fact, this moment only helped to bring a simple moment of clarity to pierce into the light of what had been a very foggy brain. during that moment of clarity, I came to five important conclusions, all interconnected and interwoven so tightly that I couldn't even begin to figure out which thread to pick at first to make the whole thing unravel. I knew that the answer to all of it lay in the center of these conclusions and if I could just make them all make sense, I'd have my path. After scouring my then sleep-starved mind, the answer, or better yet the catalyst to it all was found in one simple statement that needed to be spoken aloud, by no one else but me.

It's time to grow up, Kevin.

P3 Project: And now, a word from our sponsors...

Just as any great idea begins with a single question, so does any good project have copycats.

<hears a shout off screen> I'm just kidding, dood. Why so serious?

<hears a scuffling in the background> Hey, what are you doing with that bat...?

May 25, 2011

P3 Project: Day 68 of 1400 - Enemy of my Enemy

Okay, this goes out to some very specific people out there who will probably know who they are once they read it. Or at least, they should know. I feel that I'll be getting a lot of text messages and phone calls later today, but if you take the time to read this, you should be able to fully understand what I'm attempting to say here.

Everyone knows the phrase, "The enemy of my enemy is my friend." Well, I submit for your approval:

What if you're your own worst enemy?

Let that sink in for a second... still sinking? Okay, I'll give you some time. I'm gonna go grab a cup of coffee...

P3 Project: Day 66 of 1400 - The Lady and the Tiger

A man stands alone before two doors, both are completely unremarkable and identical. A voice speaks to him and tells him that he must make a decision. Behind one door is a beautiful lady and behind the other door is a fierce tiger. The man is told that he only has sixty minutes to decide which door that he will open or be locked in the room forever. The man decides and opens the door to embrace his fate...

Such is a lot of life's choices, apparently. The seemingly easy choice is that we want the lady and not the tiger, as the tiger is normally standing there waiting to eat our face. However, I have learned that some ladies can be tigers in their right and just as dangerous, even if not to eat your face, but remember that there are a lot of ways to cause damage and a lot of fragile parts to us as people.

However, nothing says that your lady can't be a tiger as well...

May 19, 2011

P3 Project: Day 62 of 1400 - Evolutionary Defenses

Well, once again, my newest musings come from the interactions with my friends around me. I have learned that there are somethings that are cannot be avoided in life. Change is an inevitable, and sometimes painful part of life. I look around me and everyone in my life is evolving, some for the good, and others for the bad. However, in their defense, some of the changes that they are making are warranted changes. Others are just a product of the environment around them. The thing that makes all of these varied individuals the same? They all have highly evolved defense systems, not unlike a porcupine's quills or a poison dart frog's venom...

Or a twenty-seven year old egotistical, self-absorbed, social chameleon who is afraid of failure and dislikes himself so much that he created a entire blog around the foolish pursuit of perfection...

Self-depreciate much? Hypercritical? Who, me...? Never...

May 17, 2011

P3 Project: Day 54 of 1400 - And he shall raise his mighty hammer...

[Subject's Note: Okay, so this is my weekly, after date night post... it's just almost a week late. "I love deadlines, I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." -Douglas Adams]

Okay, so it's rare that a day starts off great, stays great and ends on a great note too but I now know that they're not myths: Kevin M. Williams can have a completely good day. It's shocking, I know but apparently, it only takes Qdoba, at-work visitation and a compliment that's technically not even directed at me along with a little thunder and lightning and laughs and there you have it... instant good day. Oh, and for the record:

When a person meets your girlfriend and while just out of her vision asks you if that's your girl and when you confirm, they grin and mouth the words, "Holy Shit! Good Job!" while giving you the thumbs up sign... it's a good sign.

P3 Project: Day 52 of 1400 - Consequences and Congratulations

[Subject's Note: These are getting way behind as I've been ridiculously busy with work and such. Rest assured, that I'm trying to catch up!]

It's funny when someone does something to aggravate you, to just get under your skin and it backfires. Like when someone tries to break up a friendship and instead it makes the relationship stronger. Well it works with a lot of things, like for instance when someone demands something from you which in turn makes it impossible for you to purchase something for them as a gift...

And they say that justice is blind and karma doesn't exist... HA!

May 14, 2011

P3 Project: Day 51 of 1400 - Coming Down the Home Stretch

Okay, I admit it. Sometimes, I am wrong. Not often but sometimes. I also believe that it is fair to look toward past experiences in order to predict future endeavors. Not only that but I also normally am a firm believer in the mantra of assuming the worse. That way, there's a small chance that I'll be pleasantly surprised when things don't go horribly wrong. This was one of those instances that I was wrong. I don't like to admit it, but I was flat-out wrong. What exactly am I babbling about? Well, sit down, take a load off and I'll tell you all about it.

But just know, that part of what I'm going to tell you is horse shit.

May 6, 2011

P3 Project: Day 49 of 1400 - And They're Off

For the record, I hate Derby. Never been a fan. Sure, I have a lot of good memories, but as a whole, most of them have always been bad. Not horrible, just bad. But once again, here we are. At Derby time. The entire city shuts down, the streets are blocked off and in general, it's a pain in the ass. I don't know if it's because I'm not from here or what but I almost dread this time of year. But it is a sign that Summer is here in Louisville, KY and like it or not, Derby is here to stay.

I don't have to like it, but no matter how I feel, to me Derby is a time of change. For good or bad is another story...

May 4, 2011

P3 Project: Day 46 of 1400 - Dirty Laundry and Coming Clean

It's amazing how fast the world changes. One minute you're just a nobody, working at your job as the third line of defense, and suddenly, the guys in first is gone, and the guy in second doesn't really want to step up. Which makes you the guy. That in and of itself is a helluva step up and promises to be a large promotion.

However, the best laid plans of mice and men, often explode in our faces.

Not to mention that the wicked witch of the Midwest made it her mission in life to make mine miserable.

Eh, you win some, you lose some...

P3 Project: Day 44 of 1400 - Crystal Ball

So, this weekend showed me something that I have believed for a long time. Now, to warn you, this is one of those moments where I'm going to share a shaft of light into the darker corners of my mind.

I've wanted to start a life as an adult, but I'm no good alone. I self-destruct when left in an isolated state for an extended period of time. However, even though I've wanted to start a family, I've never been comfortable doing to. I'm not saying that it had anything to do with my ex as for a while I really believed that she would be the one that I started my life with. It simply didn't work out. However, I spent part of Friday with a four year old girl on my shoulders, and my arms around my baby girl and I realized that this is what my life could be like. My daughter on my shoulders, my arm around my wife and feeling of happiness that I got with the two of them around. The problem...

Nothing. All I'd need is time and perseverance. Strange, huh? For the first time, I can't see a negative. Well...

May 3, 2011

P3 Project: Day 43 of 1400 - Long Awaited Welcome

After waiting for months, my brother returned to Louisville to a different city, a different younger brother and a different (potential) sister-in-law. However, he remained the same. It's ironic that with all that my world has changed, how little his world had. He still loved is job, (as far as I could tell), he still loved his life (nothing was shown to the contrary), he still loved his little brother (why that is I'll never know... j/k) and he still loved his girlfriend. He still lived in the same place, had the same hobbies, and enjoyed the same things. The only thing that had changed was me.

After spending the weekend with him, I am happy to report that I'm happy with the changes that I've made.

Well, at least most of them.

It's also a well known fact that my brother brings out the desire for a better life in myself but this time, I already had that in sight and a plan to pursue it. Now, I just gotta catch it. And for the record...

The life that I want to live is a slippery little bastard.

Apr 25, 2011

P3 Project: Day 38 of 1400 - Into the Unknown

I've heard the argument. It's not an uncommon one. Battle of the sexes, War of the Roses. The age old fight for not dominance, but to communicate and coexist together. The fights take many forms, a missed call or a secretive text. Sometimes, it's a full blown war due to a simple lack of communication and all of the messy, dirty conversations and arguments that stem from it. It's all the same. But I feel that something needs to be said regarding this battle:

Fellas, we are not equipped to win this war. Sorry to tell you all this, but it's a simple fact of life. Why?

Because we are not capable of sharing what we think, good, bad or indifferent to the opposite sex. And truth be told, this entire war is our fault.

I will take your questions now.

Apr 19, 2011

P3 Project: Day 32 of 1400 - All Falls Down

This is a day for what seems to be violent change. Even now, as I write this, I know that parts of my world are evolving and changing, some for the good. Others for the bad. However, I wish that I could say I had some control over any of this.If any of the things happening around me were my fault, I could find solace in the fact that as a rock tossed into a pond causes ripples that affect the surface of the still water, so must I always be aware that my actions affect all those around me. But remember, the stone still sinks to the bottom. But this is not the case. I am simply a leaf on the surface on this pond and I am going to have to learn to let go and relinquish control if I am to stay afloat...

Even if it kills me.

P3 Project: Day 31 of 1400 - Progress Involves Risk

So it's been said that there is nothing more satisfying than the completion of a goal. I'm not sure about the satisfaction factor but I do know that I feel as though a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. But, as nice as it feels to have that weight removed, there is still work to be done, things that need to be accomplished. So, to all those who don't know, I have a car. Why was there no big triumphant post about it? Well there's much more to the story than just that.

Come inside, it's raining out here and I'll tell you all about it...

Apr 13, 2011

P3 Project: Day 25 of 1400 - Family Matters and Bitter/Sweet

Well, this post is also late but with all of the stuff crammed into it, it's going to be a very, very long post because I have to update three whole days worth of information as well as some... insight that I had into somethings.

First things first. Rosetta Stone sucks, P90x sucks, this project is painful. Mentally and Physically. However, good medicine tastes bitter so suck it up, Kevin and press on.

...Or at least that's what I'd expect myself to say to myself... oh well. On to the updates!

Apr 8, 2011

P3 Project: Day 21 of 1400 - In memoriam and Even in Darkness

So, yesterday a co-worker of mine passed away. He went in his sleep, peacefully but it doesn't change the fact that he's gone. We weren't exactly friends but I respect him enough to give him a mention in today's post. So, with that being said:

Donnie T. Adamson,
Venit mors pro omnibus in tempore. Ora quod possumus omnes consumentur necessaria qui paratus est
Requiescant in pace et sit animi et animas omnium recessit modis inuenit misericordiam et remissiónem amplexu Dei

Now, with that being said, I guess it's time for the actual posting, huh...

Apr 5, 2011

P3 Project: Day 18 of 1400 - Waiting Takes A Long Time

I can't take it anymore!

I'm so fed up with waiting that I'm gonna explode! I hate this game but I have to play it. I've been waiting for someone to handle something regarding the last piece needed for my car and I'm being stonewalled at every turn. I can't move forward because I can't make anymore forward progress without this integral piece.

And the thing that's pissing me off is that everyone wants me to jump immediately when asked to do something, and I try to be johnny-on-the-spot and yet with my shit, people are dragging their asses.

I'm gonna drag their asses through barbed wire if they don't get the lead out...

:takes a deep breath and exhales: Okay, on to the weekend recap!

Apr 1, 2011

P3 Project: Day 14 of 1400 - Temperature Control 2 [Boiling Points]

We'll start with the venting of pressure first and then we'll get into the reason behind the pressure. I've just about had it with a lot of people and their bloody opinions of me and what I'm doing, what I've done and how I'm going to do things in the future. I'm tired of not being able to make the simplest of things happen when other people are allowed to make me feel inferior, like a heel, like everything in the universe is my fault, like I'm a disappointment (which, by the way is the single strongest thing that you can say to me or the worse things I can hear in your voice) or generally make me feel like shit. Listen, I do a great job kicking myself. I do not need your help kicking me when I'm doing it myself. Seriously. And now for the inevitable question that some poor unsuspecting bastard is going to ask me...

"Why are you getting so upset?" Simple question, right? Only if you want to hear the answer.

Mar 31, 2011

P3 Project: Day 13 of 1400 - Relevations in Pottery & the Art of War

This is another of those multi-blogs where I discuss a couple of things at once that are unrelated but happened in the same day or so. Most times they are completely unrelated but in this unique case, they are. There are rare occasions that I can look at another person and tell them that I simply do not trust them. I'm a pretty trusting and forgiving person (most times) who's always willing to give a person a second chance. After all, we all deserve a second chance, right?

But that second chance comes with a warning: Screw me over again and I'll make your life miserable.

But let's start with the cheerful stuff first, okay? No need to begin this post so negatively...

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Mar 29, 2011

P3 Project in simple (visual) terms

Alec Hardison: Computer Genius
Gregory House: Brilliant Diagnostic Physician
The Perfect Version of Kevin M. Williams
Michael Westin: Suave Ex-Intel Operative

Neal Caffery: Multi-Cultured Ex-Con turned FBI Agent

Mar 28, 2011

P3 Project: Day 10 of 1400 - Carpe Diem

Seize the day. Hold it hostage.

This is my battle cry this week. My insecurities are getting the better of me and I have to do something about them. And what better way to reassure yourself of your own personal worth than the make some BIG progress on a important project? So, with that being said, I'm going to roll a couple of posts into one big one. Anyone have an issue with that? Oh yeah, no one ever answers these questions. Oh well, it was worth a shot.

So, I (think) I have the Rosetta Stone software installed properly. All four languages.

Yup, your read that right. German, Latin American Spanish, Japanese and Farsi. Brain, prepare to be beaten.

Mar 25, 2011

P3Project: [Update: Appearance: P90x]

I have found myself in possession of the entire P90x workout system and will be beginning Thursday, March 31st. Why the 31st? I have to buy the dumbbells, the nutritional supplements, the chin up bar... and it will all be streaming through my 360.

Who says that your video game console can't get you into shape?

I'll be posting the pictures of my before on the 30th of March and beginning in earnest on the 31st. Wish me luck as this is a big part of the project, liking what I see when I look in the mirror.

On a completely unrelated side note, I'm starting to believe that I can make this work now. Maybe I can become the perfect version of myself with only a little work, determination and the support of my friends and family. Who knows?

Mar 24, 2011

P3 Project: Day 6 of 1400 - Limitless

Okay, first things first...

To all of my readers who visit this page: go see Limitless. Seriously. Not joking. Have I made my point?
Good. Now, on to the blogging!

Okay, so yesterday was date night and we went to go see Limitless because as anyone who knows about this project knows, this is the movie from which the question that caused this endeavor came from. (Wow, that was a confusing statement and I wrote it) For the record, I thought that was what I was shooting for, to be Eddie Morra...

That would be awesome, but is ultimately impossible for one reason: There is no NZT. Bummer.

Or at least not exactly.

Mar 23, 2011

P3 Project: Day 5 of 1400 - Saints and Sinners

I know what you're thinking...

And the answer is no.

This is not in anyway religious. Well, not really.

This is about people who deserve sainthood and the trials they face. Or rather the trials they face which makes them deserve sainthood.

Let me tell you a story about a guy, a girl and a villain.

P3 Project: Day 5 of 1400 - Temperature Control

Okay, so it is a well known fact that I have issues controlling my temper. It's not a surprise to anyone. So when I am seconds from blowing up, I tend to get a little short with people. It's not a shortcoming, more like a endearing character flaw...

Okay, it's a major character flaw. I get it. But I'm working on it... I promise. (crosses my heart and fingers behind back)

Mar 21, 2011

P3 Project: Day 3 of 1400 - Benefits of Not Smoking

So, Saturday morning, Elli and I went to hang out with the Keffers, which is always relaxing. However, as any of you who know me know, I've had a problem with quitting smoking for the past three or four years now, which never seemed like a big issue to me before. However, after not smoking for a while, I got to see an actual tangible benefit to it for once. Little Keffer was running around in the yard kicking a soccer ball and being the good uncle that I am, I decided to join him.

Mar 18, 2011

P3 Project: Day 1 of 1400 - Full Steam Ahead

This is the first day of this... social and inter-personal experiment and I woke up feeling no different than I did when I went to sleep last night. Which, I suppose, is to be expected. But I'm also trying to get into the habit of posting something more often than not so...

Impossible before Breakfast: The Blueprint

I have spent a lot of time wishing I were someone else, somewhere else. Now, I know who and where that person is. Here is a rough draft of what I plan to put myself through in the next three years. Some of these things seem self-explanatory but these are just the roughest, most base versions on the images in my head. After some consideration, I realize that the most important thing that I'll want from my friends while I do this is emotional support, encouragement, and patience. It will be the single most important thing that gets me through this.

Impossible before Breakfast: The P3 Project

"When you aim for perfection, you discover it's a moving target."  ~George Fisher
To all my friends who know me well, prepare to take a refresher course. ~Kevin M. Williams

The pursuit of perfection is not a sprint, nor a marathon. It's a death march. No one person is perfect. (And to all of my religious friends reading this saying, "Well, there was this one guy... He doesn't count in this conversation ;P) It's commonly accepted that it is an impossible endeavor. No one person can be perfect for precisely the reason that Mr. Fisher states: It's a moving target. However, in all reality, that is the wrong way to look at it. Perfection is a moving target because we are constantly evolving. Changing. But that doesn't mean that we can't be perfect. It just means that we have to re-define our quarry. We're not looking for permanent perfection, just to be in that zone where perfect resides and able to evolve, adapt and change as it moves. But to do that, we need to find out what the perfect version of ourselves really is and then achieve that goal. I believe that anyone can do it. And to prove it...

I'm going to do it. I will become the perfect version of myself. In three years.