This is a day for what seems to be violent change. Even now, as I write this, I know that parts of my world are evolving and changing, some for the good. Others for the bad. However, I wish that I could say I had some control over any of this.If any of the things happening around me were my fault, I could find solace in the fact that as a rock tossed into a pond causes ripples that affect the surface of the still water, so must I always be aware that my actions affect all those around me. But remember, the stone still sinks to the bottom. But this is not the case. I am simply a leaf on the surface on this pond and I am going to have to learn to let go and relinquish control if I am to stay afloat...
Even if it kills me.
The world can be a lonely place from time to time. No matter what anyone tells you, we are alone on this rock as it hurtles through space. We find solace in the fact that there are others who join us in our journey, some for moments, and some for the duration of our lives, for better and for worse. I look at my friends around me and see examples of that in just my small "family" of people who are joined to others in joy and others bound in sorrow and I can't help but to evaluate my own links to those close to me, for good and for bad. It's so easy in the digital age to connect to those who we care about and dismiss those we wish to forget. For some, it's as simple as a mouse click. However, I implore all those around me who read this to remember the reasons that you found yourself walking alongside those people in the first place.
Sometimes, it's easy to dismiss nagging negative thoughts as just a unfounded suspicion or a "gut feeling" or to accept positive thoughts as good karma returning or luck. However, this is not the case. It is all due to the hard work that you put into spending time with that person, learning how they work, and think and attempting, if you're lucky, to make your own goals harmonious with theirs. In my case, I've had some good luck with people and made some amazing friends that I hope that stay with me until the end as well as some bad luck and poor decisions that have colored my perception and cause unnecessary pain for myself and those around me. However, everything that I've done I have no regrets and I live with those decision and hope that the choices I made are neither right or wrong, but that I can live with them.
That's what it all comes down to, folks. When the sun sets on a portion of your life and you know as you huddle in the dark of night, awaiting the new day's sun, you must remember that the choices that you made are in the past. Right or wrong, good or bad (or indifferent as I have learned as also a viable option) you have to live with those choices. I just hope to all those who read this, you make not the right choice, but the one that you can sleep with. Those we hold close can be gone in an instant. Make each moment count.
Because inevitably, due to death, desertion or dedication it all falls down.