May 30, 2011

P3 Project: Day 73 of 1400 - I Now Pronounce You

I had a dream last night. I was going to write this then but I was so tired, I decided to put it off until today. However, it stuck in my mind enough that I dreamt about it. I was standing inside a large church, at the end of a long white carpet. Although I could see that there were people standing around me, and I could hear the buzz of the crowd, they seemed distant, almost as if they weren't even there. I stood alone, and although I didn't fully grasp what was happening, I was nervous. Everything seemed to vibrant, the colors of the clothing that the people around me wore, although the faces weren't clear. I couldn't figure out why I was nervous and that's when the double doors at the end of the long, pristine white carpet opened and out came the most beautiful thing that I had ever seen. I stood in awe as my girlfriend walked down the carpet in a breathtaking dress, on the arm of her father, and as she walked into the room, it fell silent. And for the briefest of moments, there were only two people standing there, she and I...

Then I woke up, dazed and confused. Yet as I looked up at the time, I could tell, even in the dark that I was still wearing the same silly grin that I wore in the dream.

P3 Project: Day 72 of 1400 - The Dead Shall Walk The Earth

I walked through the trees, my side arm at the ready and my machete in front of me. I had heard that they were here, but like most stupid survivors, I had to see it for myself. I walked forward, making sure to watch behind me as I knew that this could very well be a trap but I had to know. As I cleared the tree line, I saw her...

Standing in a clearing in the field was a zombie. Barefoot and wearing bloodstained cut-off shorts, she look as ferocious as I had heard. I didn't let my guard down as it had long since been told that they could be fast, scary fast but I was almost sure that she hadn't heard me. I took another timid step forward and that's when it gave me away... the damned dog-tags made a soft clinking sound as I crested the hill and I froze, hoping that she hadn't seen me when out of the trees next to me, another one burst out.

I leveled my sidearm and fired, catching the zombie in the chest but before I could take a breath, they were all around me. I swung my machete as fast as i could but there were too many of them.

Finally, the zombie that I had been tracking placed both hands on my shoulders and shouted out, "Gotcha!"

I handed over my bracelet, sullenly, not wanting to join the horde this way, but the experience proved two age old adages:

Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought him back. And the other...

It's far better to give than to receive. Oh well, there's always the next another round...

May 27, 2011

P3 Project: Day 69 of 1400 - The Winds of Change

"We interrupt your regularly scheduled broadcasting to bring you this weather announcement. A strong batch of storms is heading for the Louisville and surrounding areas. Be prepared to take shelter in the lowest areas of your home in case of a sudden tornado touchdown or violent winds."

This moment changed a simple night into a very complicated one in a matter of minutes but not for any bad reasons. In fact, this moment only helped to bring a simple moment of clarity to pierce into the light of what had been a very foggy brain. during that moment of clarity, I came to five important conclusions, all interconnected and interwoven so tightly that I couldn't even begin to figure out which thread to pick at first to make the whole thing unravel. I knew that the answer to all of it lay in the center of these conclusions and if I could just make them all make sense, I'd have my path. After scouring my then sleep-starved mind, the answer, or better yet the catalyst to it all was found in one simple statement that needed to be spoken aloud, by no one else but me.

It's time to grow up, Kevin.

P3 Project: And now, a word from our sponsors...

Just as any great idea begins with a single question, so does any good project have copycats.

<hears a shout off screen> I'm just kidding, dood. Why so serious?

<hears a scuffling in the background> Hey, what are you doing with that bat...?

May 25, 2011

P3 Project: Day 68 of 1400 - Enemy of my Enemy

Okay, this goes out to some very specific people out there who will probably know who they are once they read it. Or at least, they should know. I feel that I'll be getting a lot of text messages and phone calls later today, but if you take the time to read this, you should be able to fully understand what I'm attempting to say here.

Everyone knows the phrase, "The enemy of my enemy is my friend." Well, I submit for your approval:

What if you're your own worst enemy?

Let that sink in for a second... still sinking? Okay, I'll give you some time. I'm gonna go grab a cup of coffee...

P3 Project: Day 66 of 1400 - The Lady and the Tiger

A man stands alone before two doors, both are completely unremarkable and identical. A voice speaks to him and tells him that he must make a decision. Behind one door is a beautiful lady and behind the other door is a fierce tiger. The man is told that he only has sixty minutes to decide which door that he will open or be locked in the room forever. The man decides and opens the door to embrace his fate...

Such is a lot of life's choices, apparently. The seemingly easy choice is that we want the lady and not the tiger, as the tiger is normally standing there waiting to eat our face. However, I have learned that some ladies can be tigers in their right and just as dangerous, even if not to eat your face, but remember that there are a lot of ways to cause damage and a lot of fragile parts to us as people.

However, nothing says that your lady can't be a tiger as well...

May 19, 2011

P3 Project: Day 62 of 1400 - Evolutionary Defenses

Well, once again, my newest musings come from the interactions with my friends around me. I have learned that there are somethings that are cannot be avoided in life. Change is an inevitable, and sometimes painful part of life. I look around me and everyone in my life is evolving, some for the good, and others for the bad. However, in their defense, some of the changes that they are making are warranted changes. Others are just a product of the environment around them. The thing that makes all of these varied individuals the same? They all have highly evolved defense systems, not unlike a porcupine's quills or a poison dart frog's venom...

Or a twenty-seven year old egotistical, self-absorbed, social chameleon who is afraid of failure and dislikes himself so much that he created a entire blog around the foolish pursuit of perfection...

Self-depreciate much? Hypercritical? Who, me...? Never...

May 17, 2011

P3 Project: Day 54 of 1400 - And he shall raise his mighty hammer...

[Subject's Note: Okay, so this is my weekly, after date night post... it's just almost a week late. "I love deadlines, I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." -Douglas Adams]

Okay, so it's rare that a day starts off great, stays great and ends on a great note too but I now know that they're not myths: Kevin M. Williams can have a completely good day. It's shocking, I know but apparently, it only takes Qdoba, at-work visitation and a compliment that's technically not even directed at me along with a little thunder and lightning and laughs and there you have it... instant good day. Oh, and for the record:

When a person meets your girlfriend and while just out of her vision asks you if that's your girl and when you confirm, they grin and mouth the words, "Holy Shit! Good Job!" while giving you the thumbs up sign... it's a good sign.

P3 Project: Day 52 of 1400 - Consequences and Congratulations

[Subject's Note: These are getting way behind as I've been ridiculously busy with work and such. Rest assured, that I'm trying to catch up!]

It's funny when someone does something to aggravate you, to just get under your skin and it backfires. Like when someone tries to break up a friendship and instead it makes the relationship stronger. Well it works with a lot of things, like for instance when someone demands something from you which in turn makes it impossible for you to purchase something for them as a gift...

And they say that justice is blind and karma doesn't exist... HA!

May 14, 2011

P3 Project: Day 51 of 1400 - Coming Down the Home Stretch

Okay, I admit it. Sometimes, I am wrong. Not often but sometimes. I also believe that it is fair to look toward past experiences in order to predict future endeavors. Not only that but I also normally am a firm believer in the mantra of assuming the worse. That way, there's a small chance that I'll be pleasantly surprised when things don't go horribly wrong. This was one of those instances that I was wrong. I don't like to admit it, but I was flat-out wrong. What exactly am I babbling about? Well, sit down, take a load off and I'll tell you all about it.

But just know, that part of what I'm going to tell you is horse shit.

May 6, 2011

P3 Project: Day 49 of 1400 - And They're Off

For the record, I hate Derby. Never been a fan. Sure, I have a lot of good memories, but as a whole, most of them have always been bad. Not horrible, just bad. But once again, here we are. At Derby time. The entire city shuts down, the streets are blocked off and in general, it's a pain in the ass. I don't know if it's because I'm not from here or what but I almost dread this time of year. But it is a sign that Summer is here in Louisville, KY and like it or not, Derby is here to stay.

I don't have to like it, but no matter how I feel, to me Derby is a time of change. For good or bad is another story...

May 4, 2011

P3 Project: Day 46 of 1400 - Dirty Laundry and Coming Clean

It's amazing how fast the world changes. One minute you're just a nobody, working at your job as the third line of defense, and suddenly, the guys in first is gone, and the guy in second doesn't really want to step up. Which makes you the guy. That in and of itself is a helluva step up and promises to be a large promotion.

However, the best laid plans of mice and men, often explode in our faces.

Not to mention that the wicked witch of the Midwest made it her mission in life to make mine miserable.

Eh, you win some, you lose some...

P3 Project: Day 44 of 1400 - Crystal Ball

So, this weekend showed me something that I have believed for a long time. Now, to warn you, this is one of those moments where I'm going to share a shaft of light into the darker corners of my mind.

I've wanted to start a life as an adult, but I'm no good alone. I self-destruct when left in an isolated state for an extended period of time. However, even though I've wanted to start a family, I've never been comfortable doing to. I'm not saying that it had anything to do with my ex as for a while I really believed that she would be the one that I started my life with. It simply didn't work out. However, I spent part of Friday with a four year old girl on my shoulders, and my arms around my baby girl and I realized that this is what my life could be like. My daughter on my shoulders, my arm around my wife and feeling of happiness that I got with the two of them around. The problem...

Nothing. All I'd need is time and perseverance. Strange, huh? For the first time, I can't see a negative. Well...

May 3, 2011

P3 Project: Day 43 of 1400 - Long Awaited Welcome

After waiting for months, my brother returned to Louisville to a different city, a different younger brother and a different (potential) sister-in-law. However, he remained the same. It's ironic that with all that my world has changed, how little his world had. He still loved is job, (as far as I could tell), he still loved his life (nothing was shown to the contrary), he still loved his little brother (why that is I'll never know... j/k) and he still loved his girlfriend. He still lived in the same place, had the same hobbies, and enjoyed the same things. The only thing that had changed was me.

After spending the weekend with him, I am happy to report that I'm happy with the changes that I've made.

Well, at least most of them.

It's also a well known fact that my brother brings out the desire for a better life in myself but this time, I already had that in sight and a plan to pursue it. Now, I just gotta catch it. And for the record...

The life that I want to live is a slippery little bastard.