It's been a while since I've been able to post anything regarding any forward momentum in the P3 Project. I've filled the pages of this blog with random thoughts and such, trying to keep myself in the habit of posting things as they happen but today, I am happy to report some real progress. However, as is often the case in life, the thrill of victory comes with the possibility of a massive amount of pain but the rewards far outweigh the risks and as anyone who knows me will attest: I'm never been one to miss an opportunity due to a little pain.
However, it seems that the ghosts of the past never leave the places where they haunt the most.
So, yesterday, after a routine day of working, hanging out with Elsa and such, we went to look at the apartment that I'm planning on getting in Crestwood. After seeing the size of the model apartment, Elli and the Property manager sat down and talked about the application process and during which, I started to envision how it would feel living this far out from the city. I wouldn't be as far away as the Keffers are from everyone, but it'd still be a good distance from Louisville and that may not be such a bad thing, after careful consideration. Anyway, since Elli knew the area better than I, we took the road back to the Springhurst area to have dinner with a mutual friend who hasn't really been able to get out much lately due to some personal issues. After dinner, which was pretty good by the way, we all went our separate ways and I went on to my next stop, Wick's Pizza to hang out with another one of my friends that I hadn't seen in a while.
However, to get to Wick's Pizza, I had to drive past my old school and in a bout of (pretty normal for me) haste, I whipped my car into the parking lot of the school. Now, so this makes more sense, I had planned to sit out a semester and one semester became one year and I found myself missing it. Being only seven classes away from my first degree (and that being a part of a larger plan for my life before a lot of other things all began) I decided that it would be foolish for me to give up on all that progress and not finish it out. After all, I've never been good at giving up on something, unless it seems completely hopeless and even that's debatable. So, fully expecting that no one would be there, I went on ahead into the building that held some many memories, most good and others slightly bitter with the faith that any of the ghosts of my time here in this building would be long gone or graduated.
Have I mentioned how much I hate being wrong...
I walk to the second floor, wandering aimlessly knowing that my advisor wouldn't be in and looked from classroom to classroom. What was I looking for? To be honest, I really have no idea but after walking past a couple of empty computer labs, I found one of the professors that I used to always be able to joke with teaching in a lab. However, there aren't many things that could have prepared me for who I saw sitting in that classroom.
An old flame (which is the most accurate word that I can muster as I ended up burned and she ended up burned out apparently) sat there and looked up at the person entering the door (me) as I looked over and saw her. Now, for the record, another person was walking into the room with me and I also learned that looks really can kill as when she looked up and I saw recognition darken her features, the guys next to me dropped dead on the spot...
I guess she looked at him more than me under her glower and the glare wasn't fully trained on me.
Anyway, with that realization that she was back in classes for another degree program completely from the one that I'd be taking, I still cowboy'ed up and prepared to re-enroll in classes as my degree would be a shining achievement and something that I could be proud that I completed. Does the fact that I may run into her in the halls or after class scare me? Not really. I mean when it's all said and done:
Ghosts can't really hurt the living, right?