So, this weekend served to prove that a group of complete strangers can begin to forge the bonds of friendship and that sometimes, your friends are the only family you have. Or rather, better family than the one you get dealt. I spent this weekend doing absolutely nothing that was for me. Clothing shopping with Seth and Sarah, birthday party for Nathaniel, church to watch Tiffany perform, and all of these activities were done happily because these people are my family. They have their moments, not unlike a real family but we were all happy to spend time together.
If only I wasn't distracted with the upcoming week, I may have even enjoyed the festivities more. But as I celebrated my nephew's seventh birthday, I couldn't help but think about my own birthday wishes that were going to be fulfilled in the next week. And it still scares the hell out of me.
It's really strange to watch someone grow up, even if their not your kid. It reminds you that the whole world is open and there's nothing you can't do at that age. Anything you want to do or be is still available. It's only once we get older that it seems to change and we settle. Maybe it's a good thing that we start to settle in our lives as we get older to avoid disappointment and protect ourselves from a world that can be unkind.
But at the same time, what would the world be like if everyone could pursue whatever we dream about at night and not have someone, anyone making it their mission to stop you. I have to think back to what my dreams were and what I wanted to do when I was younger, or hell as I got older for that matter. I felt like as I watched my nephew get older, it reminded me of my own mortality and the time lost, wasted in the foolish pursuit of things that had nothing to do with what I always wanted to do with my life.
Well, I'm taking a stand. In watching the potential that the young have, and realizing that I'm not too old to do what I want with my life, I'm going to make a concerted effort to still accomplish those goals. This project isn't just about my future and the person that I want to become but the hope that those close to me will be able to start their own P3 and journey to perfection. The single largest step to my journey starts Wednesday as I have what should be the last A.D.H.D appointment and the day that I am finally diagnosed and can begin treatment.
And then, after that hurdle is cleared, the only thing left for me to do?