There’s this common misconception out there that I need to clear up, right now. There's a fundamental truth that needs to be brought to light about a familiar phrase...
Although I’m sure that when it was first said, it was with the very best intentions that someone said it. But we all know what they say about the best intentions, right. Paving the road to Hell and all that. But the saying is one that I’m sure that every one of you that reads it will at least be able to relate to.
"Absence makes the heart grow fonder." To that, I say: bullshit.
It’s a romantic idea: two lovers are separated by a war, an ocean, on call rotation, graveyard shift, etc. and while separated from each other, they are reminded how much they love each other, and miss one another and when they are finally reunited, they love their significant other more than they did before they were apart. Now, think about how many times you’ve been away from your significant other and missed them every second that they’ve been out of your sight. Yes, it’s sounds slightly clingy to me too. But, “let’s be reasonable” I can hear some of you calling out. They mean if you’re separated for a day or a week, or any substantial amount of time.
Well, to that I also say: bullshit. Be not confused, I’m a hopeless romantic. It’s caused me far more heartache than happiness, but I also have really, REALLY bad timing, apparently. But I need you to understand, this is not coming from the same jaded part of me that has written some of my previous post.
This one is rooted in simple math: If you multiply any number by zero, you get zero.
If the person doesn’t feel anything for you in the first place, then there’s nothing to multiply. A spark can create a raging fire, but there’s no way in hell that you can create that spark from nothing. I know that opposites attract but there are some things that you can’t be on opposing sides of the spectrum and still expect for something to come from nothing. So, how is it that you can end up in these situations? How can you be in a relationship and not have enough of a spark that when the person sees you after an extended absence, there is not blissful tranquility, no matter how short lived? Here’s the hard truth, the part that’s going to sting. And I wish that I could promise you that what follows will be comforting but truth is: it won’t be. What follows is depressing, upsetting, and unfortunately for some: the reality of the situation…
There’s no fondness within the person’s heart for you in the first place. Sorry about your luck, but you’re a placeholder. You’re just another stunt double jumping into the unknown with no net. The worst part about it all: You knew that all along, didn’t you?
That’s a blow for anyone to realize. What’s worse?
You still can’t walk away from them. You hold on to that foolish hope that things will get better. You sigh and go to sleep every night, and the last thoughts that pass through your mind are that “things will get better one day. I just know that they will. I just have to have faith.” Or maybe, that was just me.
Maybe I’m just a hopeless romantic, clinging to the belief that things will eventually get better with time. "Love endures all. Love is patient. Love is kind." Or "maybe, if I just change everything that makes me, well me, then maybe things will finally be the way that I saw them in my dreams."
Hope is a beautiful thing, but it’s the most dangerous drug in existence. Because although it will keep you warm in the darkness, it will also keep you from seeing the truth: You never mattered.
I said that it was the truth. I never said that it was pretty.